Letters to the air

[morgaine_x]

Dear Idiot,
who drives an oversized silver crew-cab four-wheel-drive pickup - and a Dodge at that -
The next time you park so carefully, only inches from the curb which is currently topped by a four-feet-high wall of snow, so as to block off the only street access for four apartments, forcing me to clamber up the edge of a snowbank and brush my clothing against the salt-encrusted bulk of your truck in order to reach the street, I won't even attempt going around the truck - I will break your side window, unlock and open the door and go _through_ it.

Especially since parking six feet forward or back would have meant this problem didn't exist.

Yours disgustedly
The resident

Comments

[elmyra.livejournal.com]

Did you actually leave that note on the car?

[morgaine-x.livejournal.com]

Sadly, no - I didn't have time or a pen. But I am thinking of printing a copy to put in my bag, should it happen again.

I'll wrap it round a brick ;)

[anthrokeight.livejournal.com]

Uh oh. Asks the Dodge Caliber driver... what's wrong with Dodge's? I mean, their pickup trucks are just so huge... Hyuuuoooooooje. The Dakotas are just... huge. But Dodge in general is no more offensive than any other car company. Or is it?

[morgaine-x.livejournal.com]

There is an inversely-proportional relationship between the size of the pick-up and the driver's brain, amongst other physical elements... It was indeed a Dakota.

I have an irrational dislike of Dodge pickups. Oh god. I'll be honest. The hood design has always struck me as slightly obscenely phallic. Add to that, "Ram"... *shakes head*

[anthrokeight.livejournal.com]

Hhhheeeee- you have GOT to start playing the Anal Car Game. (okay, you don't GOT to, but try it...)

Put the word "anal" in front of a car name. If it sounds unfortunate, it's time for Marketing to find another name for the car.

Anal Ram

Anal Explorer

Anal Patriot (my current favorite)

This is a good way to kill time on road trips.

My wee brother- who drives a far more sensible Ford Ranger- calls Dakotas "Dodge Compensators."

[morgaine-x.livejournal.com]

Now, "Compensator" would be such a refreshingly honest vehicle model name.

I'll definitely play that game next time I visit a dealership. Which I do, with my father every time I go home...

[sobelle.livejournal.com]

Hee! Dodge Compensators

I live in BIGFUCKINGTRUCK country now... and I was trying to describe a particular SUV to someone and while flailing came up with the descriptor Ford Bludgeonator... was actually a Ford Expedition... I think...

Hey Jo! our fire department some years back (west coast) punched through the driver and passenger windows of a big truck that had parked in front of a fire hydrant... they threaded the big firehose through the cab... insult to injury, broken windows *and* drippy wet fire hose...

But I do like your idea of a note wrapped around a brick ;)

[yaaresse.livejournal.com]

Oh I LIKE that!

Our fire dept in KY once "moved" a Caddy from in front of a fire hydrant...using the tanker truck.

[psychochicken.livejournal.com]

I like that. On a similar note I call Audi TTs "Auditts". The car favoured by accountants everywhere.

[morgaine-x.livejournal.com]

The senior partner at my old firm back in the UK drove a big Merc with the registration plate AUD1T.

...really.

And oi! I'm an accountant.

[wingedelf.livejournal.com]

Bit tassy this morning, were we?

[psychochicken.livejournal.com]

I'd have "accidentally" clobbered it with a bag/foot/size 11 boot or something. I love the look on the face of drivers whose cars I've "accidentally" hit with the metal corner of a large heavy portfolio case when they've driven on to or stopped on one of the many pedestrian crossings I have to negotiate to get to college on a Monday night.

[morgaine-x.livejournal.com]

Had it been there this morning, I expect it might have been damaged in some acidental way.

This is from idiot.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes it's me, Dave,(maybe not the idiot) nice to know you still are doing what you like when you actually have time. I didn't mean to steal the thunder of the moron who caused you difficulty. I do hope you keep well! Lordi, simmer down now!!!